Checkpoint... and thoughts.

Today during church, the pastor preached on a verse from Genesis. This is a new and small church that I've been attending with my family. Most of the youth group consists of middle school kids, with a small mix of elementary, high school, and college students bunched up in one room. We worship together and we listen to the same sermon together. The way we all interpret what happens in the Y.G. room is obvious. Some, like my brother, Diego, have a hard time staying awake. Older kids such as myself are deeply immersed in the sermon, while it's clear that others simply don't care. In the midst of this craziness, however, it IS great to see the youngest kid, named Joshua, paying full attention to the sermon. Small things here and there make it all worthwhile :)

This post is dedicated to my mental exploration during the sermon. Thoughts were racing in my head as I was learning, and I decided to write these thoughts out vigorously as Abraham, the pastor, spoke. It's going to be a blog sharing the thoughts that went in my head to help you, my close friends, understand my hectic train of thought these days. I'd say that it would be an accurate sample of a saturated/homogenous mixture of thoughts from a chemistry beaker. It's written in the original form, so it's broken up, but the fluff is gone. Point to point. I transition back and forth from my own thoughts to the points I'm learning from the sermon. It's also a means of better reminding myself even when I'm in school. After all, this blog is dedicated for my reflections, ultimately for myself.

Start:

"God uses famine. Uses material need and lack to make us do things we normally would not. Not always a peachy road. Hardships will get you there.

Excuses are excuses. They don't change the fact that you failed to do something. Be prepared. You will try using excuses. But what if I recognize this fact and refuse to excuse myself, blaming myself 100% for it? It drives me crazy. I can comfort people, say that it's OK and say that there are some things that need to be changed. But me... I refuse to use excuses anymore. If I fail? I fail. I have lost the ability to excuse myself into/from/out of #@$!.

[The new word is motivate]. All I have is to motivate myself to get back up and move forward. That's what God is teaching me right now.

It's true that God uses the evil ways of men for His glory. That's not to excuse man's evil. It just shows that God is greater than any man's evil.

Every guilty conscience sees penalties in actions. A sundial of the soul. It gives some sense of direction in the daytime, but at night time it is useless. In darkness it is useless. We can shine a flashlight to make it read whatever time we want. We need God's light for a reliable sense of time. Direction. [Do you follow in real time?].

I'm in a place with children. Learning about God. Seeing things that they don't understand. Watching them fall asleep. But I need it. God uses even moments such as these to teach me. Never be too "mature" for anything. In God's eyes, you are a stupid little adorable baby. He can use anything in your life to teach you and give you what you NEED. Does this give us all a sense of purpose? Yes. But let's not limit God's power to such level of thought. It's too manly [...human]. Just as how we are limited by the darkness [in the sundial example] when it comes to telling time, we are also limited when compared to the Glory of God, but even more so. How much greater is the depth of God than the piercing emptiness of often overwhelming darkness? The effect of God is interpreted [by the world] in so many ways... the visible. It appears and probably is correct that God gives us men sense of purpose to move on. We interpret what we see and people do, but it's impossible to clearly see God's heart and His will for us. Therefore, seek not the EFFECTS of Christ, but see His heart.

I am just brushing the surface of this sermon. It's all too easy to say that I am ok now. It's all too easy to turn around and lurk in rotting darkness with nothing but a whiff of Glory. It must continue to immerse not in myself, but in Him. Will it fix my problems? Who the hell knows. but I do know I'm a little more grounded now. I feel solid earth. Comfort? You can say that it's the effect of church - comfort, but again that's only man's limitation to understand all of it. Man... shaky as ever.

We will be tested on the same things over and over again by God, which is a good reason to do well on the first time we take the test. [Too bad that's not always the case."

End.

Before writing this, I read some blogs. It appears that everyone is having a really hard time. Beyond anything we have ever faced. Truly mind-boggling changes for us all. Take heart.. you are not alone. I am not alone. We're in this together. In Him. Thought I can't say much for myself, I can say that God's love will help us overcome mountains of obstacles.

-DK over and out.